2023: The good, the bad, & the ugly

Recapping what went right (and wrong) in 2023

Happy New Year, my friend!!! Before I head off to go celebrate with my kids at our local “It’s New Year’s Somewhere” party (that’s the kind where the ball drops at 8pm… perfect), I wanted to share with you my recap on 2023 and some initial thoughts on what I’m planning for 2024.

So let’s get right into it!

Was 2023 actually… the best year ever?

I made the ultra optimistic claim this time last year that 2023 would be my best year ever. I tend to be an optimist by nature so naturally I was full throttle on the optimism heading into 2023 and imagining all that I could accomplish. Did it work? Well… kind of.

As you may recall, I based my plan for the year on the concept of “identity-based habits” which I learned from James Clear. Basically, the idea is that you are what you do. And I had several identities that I was trying to fulfill. Within each identity, I came up with:
a) how I would “prove” that identity
b) what actions I needed to take daily/weekly
c) some big things I wanted to make happen, and…
d) how I would be accountable.

The plan occupied my whiteboard all year (see messy image above), staring me in the face, reminding me what I was attempting to do - or more accurately - who I was trying to be.

I’m not going to give you every single detail here but for each identity I thought I’d run you through:
a) what went right
b) what went wrong, and…
c) what I learned and where I’ll go next.

Let’s dive it.

2023 - The good, the bad & the ugly

Identity #1: A great dad

What went right: First of all, I have three healthy children that are more or less functioning fine in society (aka school & sports) so I consider that a win - and something I’m very thankful for after the health scare with my son last year. I spent a lot of dad time as a coach to my son’s 11U & 12U baseball teams this year. It was a major time commitment, often intense, sometimes frustrating but also great bonding. I had dinner with my family almost every night this year. And I read my 3-year-old two books almost every night. I will chalk those up as wins.

What went wrong: I didn’t coach any of my daughter’s teams this year - which I feel a little guilty about - but I’m trying to rectify that by getting involved with her b-ball team starting this week. I missed all of my 3-year-old’s Soccer Shots appearances (but hey, Wednesdays at 1pm are not exactly conducive… I did make all three kids’ holiday concerts though!). We struggled a good bit with my oldest in his transition to middle school with everything from technology access to appropriate language. Wow, this age is tough! I had aspirations of doing a “quarterly check-in” with my kids to assess our relationships, taking each kid on an individual trip, and implementing regular meditation and journaling habits to help me maintain patience with my kids. Exactly none of that actually happened. In retrospect, I might have been a little over my ski’s with some of those goals.

Where I plan to go next: I’ll be coaching my son’s 12U baseball team again this year and it has the feeling of a last hurrah. We (the kids and parents) are “all-in” for what will be an intense season starting basically now with January workouts and culminating in a June trip to play in Cooperstown, NY (Baseball Hall of Fame) to end the season. It’s going to be intense, stressful, disappointing, thrilling, hard, exciting, and fun. And hopefully something my son will remember forever. I’m also diving in deep on all things middle school as parenting kids going through these years is a whole other ball game. I’ll be reading books, listening to podcasts (and even hosting a conversation on the topic… stay tuned for that really soon). And I’ll be trialing (and erroring!) lots of strategies to help my son survive and thrive in middle school. Hopefully, my wife and I will learn a few things so we get better at middle-schooling by the time the other two get there. And I’m getting ready to start the whole sports cycle over again with my three-old… but this time pondering if I might want to steer him toward golf… which could make Identity #5 a little easier to attain.

Overall, I’d like to look for ways in 2024 to have more fun and more downtime with my kids. Mine, like most, are insanely overscheduled between homework and gymnastics and baseball and strength training and 20 other things. And they’re constantly be measured and told to prepare for the next level (of academics, sports, etc.). I want to look for more opportunities to let them be kids without worrying about being criticized by adults. I just need to figure out how to make that a trackable habit for myself. :)

Identity #2 - A great husband

What went right: My wife should probably write this whole section but I’m not ready to release that level of brutal honesty on you… so I’ll take a crack. Two things I’m really pleased about that we accomplished this year:
1. We went for weekly walks. This was a new thing we implemented this year. These walks were (importantly) scheduled in both of our calendars at the same time every week and proved to be an excellent way for us to stay connected. Sometimes they were deep talks. Other times just sharing frustrations or schedules, but to me, the time together is the important part.
2. We got away on two weekend trips. With three kids (including a three-year-old) this has been really tough to do in recent years but we made it happen and they were two of the best weekends of the year (Austin, TX and Palmetto Bluff, SC). I also had a goal that we learn how to play pickleball this year and we made that happen (and now love it). I know, so cliche.

What went wrong: I had a goal of doing 1 nice thing per day for my wife and having a date every two weeks. Those did not happen consistently. The former because I wasn’t consistent with my Habits tracker app which was my daily reminder; and on the latter… life just kind of got in the way. More broadly, I’ve become aware of something called the Invisible Mental Load - which is basically all the things that women (and particularly moms) are expected to keep track of from school lunches to holiday planning to kids’ laundry. It’s a ton and I think my wife handled too much of that burden this year.

Where I plan to go next: I think we’re going to stick with what’s working and try to improve what’s not. The weekly walks are non-negotiable now. And the key is having them scheduled in the calendar so they won’t be deprioritized. I’m also pushing strongly for two more weekends away to new places in 2024. Figuring out childcare (and now dog care!) is tough but I think we can make this happen. I’d also like to start playing pickleball (with my wife) more regularly as it’s just really fun. On the dates, I think I still want that as a goal but I’ll probably try to be more realistic and say monthly and on the mental load stuff… I need to find one or two things I can take off her plate on a consistent basis.

Identity #3 - An extremely fit man

What went right: If you read my newsletter regularly, you’re probably aware that I went way down the “Zone 2 training” rabbit hole this year. This was great as it got me back into running for the first time in 10 years. I ended up logging over 70 Zone 2 workouts, including running 50 times in 2023. I had probably run 50 times in the previous 10 years combined. So that was good. I stayed most injury-free, which is a huge win at 45. I also made some real progress on strength training. I started logging my strength workouts later in the year using the Whoop Trainer app and have already logged 30 weight-lifting sessions (basically 2-3 per week). I completed the year without a sip of alcohol, and in fact, recently passed 500 days alcohol-free. And I finally (in the last week) got proper bodyfat and cardio health measures taken in the form of a DEXA scan and V02 Max test, respectively. More below on that. Also, I had a goal to run one race this year and I did that. It was just a 5k but it was the first race I’d done in years so I feel like it was a good start. All-in-all, I feel like I made fitness a real priority and saw some progress, which was a win.

What went wrong: Now, the downside. The DEXA scan and V02 Max numbers were not good, in my opinion. I learned that I have 28% body fat which nudges me up into the “above average” category for my age group and sex. And I have a VO2 Max of 34.5 which is considered “average” for my age group and sex. I’m not pleased with either of those numbers. VO2 Max is probably the one quantifiable metric that is most closely associated with all-cause mortality. In other words, if you’re going to try to live long, it’s the #1 metric to try to optimize for. And body fat… I mean everything from inflammation to the risk of disease increases the higher this goes. That I’m in the “above average” category here is embarrassing to me and I plan to fix it - mostly by getting more disciplined about what goes in my mouth. The good news is this: I now have baseline measures for these two very important metrics. And what gets measured, gets managed.

Where I plan to go next: A few changes I plan to institute in 2024:

1. While I still love the Zone 2, I think I overdid it a bit this year on the long, slooooooow runs at the expense of more intense cardio workouts. I’m going to shift that mix from 80/20 to 50/50. I’ll write more soon on this but I have reason to believe this should kickstart improvements in my VO2 max.

2. I also plan to keep up with the strength training roughly 3x per week and add in more core exercises which I largely ignored in 2023.

3. Finally, on the diet, I’m heading into 2024 planning to follow the Slow Carb diet popularized by Tim Ferriss, which is basically high-protein, low-carb, no drinking calories. Here’s a quick primer on that if you need it.

I’m planning to re-test the DEXA and VO2 max again in June so I’m psyched to have something quantifiable to shoot for.

Identity #4 - A profitable, independent creator

What went right: 2023 started out with a bang when I hosted a podcast episode with Peloton’s Denis Morton that turned out to be (and still is) my most listened-to episode ever. So that was really cool. I also published episodes with some phenomenal guests on topics like alcohol-free living, heart health, and more. Some really fun conversations and some really great relationships built. That was really gratifying. I had a goal of making some money from my work and it turns out I was lucky enough to have Athletic Brewing Company sponsor several episodes and newsletters which was also really cool. I got a bit more serious about YouTube this year (are you subscribed to my channel yet?!?!) and had a few videos go pretty viral. And I recently kicked off a new “Explained” series covering the major concepts and frameworks in my favorite self-improvement books. Finally, I got some great responses (and even some virtual coffees - thank you!) from you, my newsletter readers, on the content I’ve produced. And that’s been awesome.

What went wrong: On the flip side, I was not nearly as consistent as I had wanted to be in terms of content production. I wanted to write for 30 minutes per day for the entire year. I failed miserably on that front. I had specific goals for Twitter followers and newsletter readers which I did not meet. And I wanted to create a paid product offering but that didn’t happen.

Where I plan to go next: I’m still sorting this one out to be honest. It’s really early in this new “Explained” series (first episode here) but I think that has potential so I think I may lean more into that format this year and do a bit less interview-style podcasts. On the monetization front, I’m not honestly sure what I want to do there. I think if I am going to make monetizing a priority, I need to dial in a specific content format for a very specific audience. That’s probably different than what this newsletter is. And it may be super-targeted like a paid community for middle-age dads or something where I go super-deep on all the Zone 2 and VO2 max stuff, etc. or maybe it’s turning the Explained series into a paid product. Or maybe it’s sponsorships. Or maybe it’s getting enough YouTube subscribers to monetize via ads. I don’t know. Like I said, I’m still sorting this out. Broadly speaking, I think I need to lean heavily into one format and make everything else secondary. I just need to decide which format that is and where I can provide something to my audience that is truly valuable. If you have any ideas here, let me know. I’d love to hear from you.

Identity #5 - A skilled golfer

What went right: The one thing that really went right was absolute domination of my brother-in-laws at our annual Day after Thanksgiving match. But that was too easy as I was the only one who wasn’t drinking. Also, what went right is that I got to the driving range a decent amount. And for me that range time is therapeutic. I didn’t make it weekly to hit balls as was my goal but I did probably make it 20+ times.

What went wrong: I had a goal to play in 4 tournaments in 2023. I played in none! See baseball coaching / parenting sections above. There are only so many hours unfortunately. I planned to get my index under 13 as I’ve been pretty average ever since my youngest was born but I just didn’t get to play enough to make it happen. I only officially logged six rounds of golf in 2023. This is very sad. If my wife is reading this section, somehow I don’t think she’s quite shedding tears but I think I can do better in 2024.

Where I plan to go next: I’m actually going to keep the same goals this year which were: 1. Index <13, 2. Hit one golf ball per week (aka go to the range), 3. Play in 4 tournaments. Things are looking good to start as I’m scheduled to play in a Jan 1st Frozen Open to start the year. I will file this identity under “the one people probably care least about” but hey, golf (and now pickleball) bring me joy and I’m looking to add some more opportunities for fun in 2024.

In Conclusion…

If you’re still reading this, I feel maybe I owe you money…. Not sure if there’s a nugget or two in here that may be helpful to you but I wanted to give a pretty honest assessment of how the year went for me.

Next, I’ll be looking to formalize and quantify my plans for 2024. That said, I think I learned in 2023 that I may have slightly overdone it in terms of the number of goals. I do like putting things down on paper that I want to accomplish - both longer-term goals but also what I want to accomplish daily and weekly. It really helps me to stay on track.

I may or may not formally write up my 2024 plans in the form of a newsletter. But if you are interested in seeing what I come up with, just let me know. Finally, I’m super enthused on the fitness stuff at the moment so if you want more detail on my plans there, let me know and I’ll probably write something a little more detailed about the VO2 Max and DEXA stuff and how I plan to improve my metrics.

Okay, this newsletter is already insanely long. If you read the entire thing, you’re my new best friend. I’m skipping the content section today because I don’t want to crash your gmail but I will provide, free of charge, the pic below of my family’s new dog, Georgie. She’s a good girl.

Happy New Year and All My Best for 2024!!

Greg