Become famous to your family
Impacting those in your real life beats fishing for likes
👋Hello, my friend. Today’s article is based on my recent learnings from Jonathan Goodman, author of the new book, The Obvious Choice. In a world obsessed with social media and “online all-the-time,” Jon’s latest work is a great reminder that what actually matters — in business and in life — are the people we impact in the real world — not arbitrary follower counts and likes.
Let’s get into it!
🎙️Ep.35 - Jonathan Goodman - Winning at Business without Winning the Internet
Jonathan Goodman is the author of 11 books, a well-known podcast host, and a successful entrepreneur who has built several multi-million dollar businesses. I received an advance copy of his latest book, The Obvious Choice, which tackles the idea of “winning in business without winning the internet” and I found a number of the concepts that Jon expresses to be valuable. I asked him if he would come on the podcast and analyze Intentional Wisdom, as a business, through the frameworks he lays out in the book. He was game, and this conversation is the result. I hope you enjoy!
💻Winning the Internet - not worth your effort
The world has gone social media crazy. Whether its teens performing for the TikTok algorithm or businesses obsessing over whether their LinkedIn posts are “authentic enough,” nearly everyone is hustling for hearts.
But this article is not a prosecution of today’s culture nor a wistful longing for the days of rotary phones. Rather, it’s a reminder that likes and follows, while certainly dopamine-inducing, are in most instances, worth very little — especially when contrasted with the power of real-world relationships.
In his book, The Obvious Choice, Jon tells the story of working with a group of personal trainers all aiming to grow their businesses. Jon was scheduled to meet the group of ~20 personal trainers at a high-end gym. When he walked into the gym, it was full of members working out but none of the trainers were in sight. He ultimately found them tucked away in a back room — many of them filming TikTok’s and obsessing over their online profiles.
Jon asked the group how many of them were prioritizing their online presence. All hands went up. He then asked who of them had won a client directly from social media. No hands went up.
Jon then pointed out that there were a hundred wealthy members currently working out in the gym — all of them almost perfectly fitting the profile of potential customers — yet, here they all were, in the backroom, fishing for likes. It made no sense.
After witnessing the meteoric rise of YouTubers, TikTokers and many other forms of online influencers over the last 10+ years, there’s a perception these days that growing a massive social media audience is the path to wealth in 2025.
The reality is quite different. A recent Washington Post article estimated that only 12% of “influencers” make more than $50k per year. Jon Goodman says the vast majority struggle to make $1000/month. Hard to feed the family on that.
Of course, influencer earnings fall into what you might call a fat-tail distribution. The influencers killing it on these platforms are making millions, for sure. But with a limitless amount of competition these days for that online adulation, it’s going to take more than a little luck to get you there.
😎 Become famous to your family
But all is not lost. It turns out that performing for the algorithm is a pretty hollow existence. Have a hit post? Finally had your viral moment? Great, that dopamine MAY last you 24 hours. Then, it’s right back on the hamster wheel trying for the next one. It turns out, this is not a very rewarding way to live life — either emotionally or financially.
What is rewarding, however, is positively impacting the people closest to you — in your real, actual, not-so-online life — or to use Jon’s words: Becoming famous to your family.
In this sense, the word “family” represents both your actual family and anyone else who’s life you are REALLY impacting. It could be a colleague at work, someone you are mentoring, or even a customer of your business.
If you’re looking for rewarding — again, whether it’s emotionally or financially — this is the place to focus. How can I show up for the people who are actually in my life? How can I help them when they are down? How can I exceed their expectations? How can I make their life a little bit more fun/enjoyable/profitable/productive?
Impacting REAL LIVES. Real people. That’s where it’s at. Not likes or follows.
So should you give up on social media?
Despite all of this, I don’t think social media is worthless. I think it’s actually a really powerful tool. But only if it’s used with purpose.
The people who are using social media most effectively are less focused on becoming “Internet famous” and more focused on two things: 1. Finding their people, and 2. Building trust.
And it’s not just for the sake of online interactions. It is to help foster real-world relationships.
Let me give you two examples:
#1 - My friend Jon Finkel is an author and self-described “meathead.” He’s a guys’ guy. He’s super into lifting weights, swimming, watching WWE wrestling and… funny enough, reading and writing books. He has used social media to 1. Find his people (meatheads who like to read), and 2. Build trust with them by constantly posting about meathead-related topics. He has a newsletter (Books & Biceps) that’s read by over 20,000 like-minded meatheads and he regularly writes books that he can count on his people to buy. Is he trying to become “Internet famous”? Not really, there are WAY more people out there who WILL NEVER CARE about “meathead-related topics” than those who will. He’s using the social platforms in a smart way to connect with and build trust among a very specific group of people and he’s earning a very good living from it.
#2 - As part of my day job in the asset management industry, I host a podcast called Streaming Income. It covers the nuances of complex asset classes and markets like collateralized debt obligations and private credit. These are not “mass market” topics. I sometimes get asked how many listeners I’d like to see for any given episode. My answer is: One, if it’s the right person. You see, the goal of Streaming Income is not to make my firm “Internet famous”, it’s to build trust and credibility on very nuanced topics with a relatively small but potentially very meaningful audience. In the case of Streaming Income, if one pension fund CIO listens to an episode and it spurs a meaningful/profitable long-term relationship for our firm, that alone pays for years of podcast production costs many times over. It most definitely is not about likes, follows, or going viral.
For me, it comes back to the power of real-world relationships. Personally, I get almost no value from random people commenting on or liking my social media posts. Is it marginally good for the ego? I guess so. But very marginally.
The real value, as I’ve said already, is impacting people in the real world. Even with this newsletter, I see the stats on subscribers, likes, open rates, etc. And you know what? I don’t really care about them. They don’t impact me in any material way.
But I also get the emails back where people tell me their stories. Or tell me that they shared the last article with their brother-in-law who is going through a rough patch. Or I get cornered at a party and told how much that article from 6 months ago has positively impacted a friend.
To me, that’s the good stuff. That’s where it’s at. The real world impacts.
So I say, let others hustle for those virtual hearts. I’ll take the real-world hugs, high-fives and handshakes every day.
Have a great week!
Greg
Content Diet
📖The Obvious Choice by Jonathan Goodman
I recommend Jon’s book for anyone running a business — whether it’s their primary business or side-gig — who is struggling with how to stand out and build trust. Take a listen to my podcast conversation with Jon for an appetizer version of the concepts in the book.
📺Netflix documentary: Don’t Die - The Man Who Wants to Live Forever
People love to hate on Bryan Johnson, the man behind “Don’t Die” who has essentially turned himself into a human lab rat in the name of longevity. He’s trying to live forever and has optimized his habits, routines and lifestyle to what most would consider absurd levels in pursuit of this goal. I actually think what’s he’s doing is fascinating (if extreme) and potentially a service to humanity. I wrote more about it here in a tweet that has almost no likes. But of course I don’t care about such measures! Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself.😂 If you watch it, let me know what you think.
And finally… here’s the full YouTube version of my conversation with Jon: