Not-so-social media
Considering realistic ways to stem the mental health crisis facing kids
👋Hello, my friend. I hope you're having an awesome weekend. I'm coming to you today with some thoughts on social media, a topic that I've been thinking a ton about lately, especially as it relates to our kids. My thoughts on the subject are still incomplete but I thought I'd tell you about some of the best content I've been consuming on the topic and what some of my key takeaways are thus far.
Let's do it!
Not-so-social media
I'm not sure if you've noticed or not, but there has been a real groundswell of activity recently concerning the impact that social media is having on our kids - and what should be done about it.
You probably have seen the stories in the media about congress potentially banning TikTok.
You may have noticed bills before the state legislatures of Utah and Florida aiming to restrict social media access by age.
It's possible that you've even come across the work of Jonathan Haidt and his new book, The Anxious Generation, which seems to be everywhere at the moment, and proposes several potential solutions for addressing some of social media's most negative effects.
To me, it's notable that this is all happening at once. It feels like we're quickly getting to a tipping point when it comes to the way society views smartphones and social media and how willing we are to allow these things to be in the hands of 10, 11, 12 or 13-year-olds.
What's the problem?
Put simply, our kids are experiencing a mental health crisis. We see this in sky-rocketing rates of anxiety, depression, self-harm and even suicide. I pulled the following charts from Haidt’s excellent website AnxiousGeneration.com to give you a sense of what the data show today. There are, of course, debates over exactly what is causing the shocking rise in everything from teen girl hospital visits to mental health disorders, to self-harm, to suicide, but Haidt makes a convincing argument in his book that all of these trends accelerated massively just at the same time kids got access to social media (most notably Instagram but more recently, TikTok, Snap and others), along with smartphones with front-facing cameras and unlimited data plans.
The last chart - I just want to point out - shows the massive rate of change in suicides for teen girls but I do just want to note that the absolute numbers are still much higher for boys.
What is going on?
To me, it’s clear that we’ve got a major problem. And while I’m not sure the research is 100% conclusive yet, I think we can comfortably say with a high-degree of certainty that smartphones, and more specifically social media, are playing a massive role in this crisis.
Why? Honestly, all of the mechanisms by which this technology is impacting our kids’ mental health is beyond the scope of this newsletter, but I’ll mention a few here:
The comparison game — Our kids are now hyper aware of their social standing. They not only are aware they weren’t invited to the party, but they see pics from it in real-time. Girls are naturally wired to care much more about what people think of them and apps like Instagram and Snap are like crack-cocaine feeding on this instinct.
Loneliness and a lack of social skills — The data show that kids are spending way more time by themselves these days - time that in past generations was spent hanging out with friends in unstructured environments. The lack of real human interaction and the connections and social skills that this time fosters is being lost on a generation - with direct consequences, including on mental health.
Sleep deprivation and the lost ability to focus — One of the core tenants of mental health is sleep. Data show that devices in kids’ rooms or even using them close to bedtime materially impacts sleep quality with direct effects on mental health. Constant notifications, an addiction to checking social feeds and a rewiring of the brain based on hours of short-form video viewing is also causing carnage for kids’ abilities to focus. This all impacts confidence and mental health.
In short, we’ve given our kids access to extremely high-powered addiction machines without having any clue of how that technology might affect their brains. We’re now beginning to find out. And it seems that as a society we’ve made a massive mistake.
Is this just a moral panic?
But wait a minute… isn’t this all just a bit too… alarmist? Maybe. I mean, it’s possible. When I was a kid, we were constantly told that Nintendo and television would rot our brains. We turned out okay, right? And going back generations, you can find examples throughout history where alarmists noted that everything from newspapers to novels would be the downfall of society. They weren’t.
But at the risk of being wrong, just old, or both… I’ll say this: I think this time might really be different. To my knowledge, the introduction of television or newspapers or novels weren’t followed by massive spikes in hospital visits, mental health disorders or suicides. It seems like we’ve got a legit crisis on our hands.
What can be done?
Despite the worrying nature of this newsletter so far, I’ll say this: I’m actually optimistic. Why? Because it feels like we (adults in society) broadly agree that we’ve got a problem on our hands. And if that’s true, I’m comforted by the fact that we’ve collectively been able to make changes in our society in the past when we’ve realized they were needed. I’m thinking about things like age restrictions on smoking or alcohol, or seatbelt laws, or child labor laws. It’s hard to remember, but some of these changes, to protect vulnerable parts of society (especially children) weren’t always forgone conclusions.
Back to Haidt’s book. He recommends four changes that we can make today to start to turn this thing around. They are:
Banning social media for anyone under age 16 — I actually think this is realistic and we’re starting to see lawmaker support in various states and in the U.K. I can speak from personal experience that social media is addictive and I’ve had to take all of it off my phone. And I’m 45! How can I expect my 12-year-old, with a brain that still has another 14 years of development ahead of it, to resist the Vegas-style apps Big Tech has created to addict him? I can’t. I’m supportive of enforced age restrictions on social media.
No smartphones until high school — Sound extreme? Do they really NEED a smartphone before high school with access to social media, porn, and everything else on the internet? Haidt likes the idea of giving tweens/young teens flip phones or Apple watches. They can stay in contact but miss all the worst parts of the technology. I don’t think a government can mandate this one— it has to be a family decision. And the more families that make this decision, the easier it is for everyone… more on that below.
No phones in schools — This seems like a no-brainer. Many schools allow kids to access their phones all day long. Is it any surprise that for the first time, we’ve seen standardized test scores start to fall for American kids (and this dates back to before COVID). Causation? Correlation? Can’t say conclusively but if you’ve got access to texts, Snaps for your friends and TikTok, how in the HELL can you be expected to pay attention in organic chemistry? Impossible. And ridiculous of us to even put kids in this position.
More unstructured time for kids to hang out (without technology) — This one is hard to mandate, of course. It’s more incumbent upon on individual families or groups of families to organize, but Haidt shows just how destructive all the alone time has been for kids and how unstructured time with friends where they are given more autonomy and more responsibility and freedom to do things like go to the store with their friend is massively important to developing social skills and learning everything from independence to consequences.
A collective action problem
Finally, Haidt notes in his work that access to phones and social media is a collective action problem — one where we need to take action collectively to make a difference. Why? Because, of course, no one wants their kid to be the outcast and not invited to parties because they are the only one who doesn’t have Snap. That, it turns out is the most common reason why parents continue to allow kids access to social platforms.
This is a tough problem, no doubt. And it’s where many pessimists will say “the genie is already out of the bottle on that one… good luck.” Yeah, maybe. For kids who are 15 or 16 today, maybe it’s too late to reign it back in. But what about for those who are 11, 12, or 13? It might not be too late. And it’s certainly not too late for kids younger than that. This all gets a whole lot easier with a broad-based ban of social media under the age of 16. It would make parents less “the bad guys” and completely remove the “but everyone else has this” argument. Look, I’m not usually a big “over regulation guy” but I don’t see a lot of downside to making that change as a society.
We’ll see what happens. Like I said, I do feel like we are very, very close to a tipping point now when real change is going to be possible. So that makes me optimistic.
It feels like this is a problem that needs to be attacked from the macro level (changes to laws) and at the micro level (family by family). I think the more we talk about it and put forth the idea that we’re not supportive of social media for kids, the more it becomes a shared norm. This newsletter is my attempt to do exactly that.
I hope you found this helpful. Below is some of the best content I’ve consumed recently related to this topic.
Anything else you’ve come across that you really like? Let me know in the comments and maybe I’ll do a podcast on it.
Thanks as always for reading!
Greg
Content Diet
Jonathan Haidt x Rich Roll — How Social Media is Rewiring Childhood
You get to hear most of Haidt’s thesis in this episode along with a much wider discussion on society, childhood, etc.
Dr. Becky x Jonathan Haidt - The Anxious Generation
A slightly shorter conversation with Haidt but this hits the high points, too. Honestly, he’s everywhere at the moment so find him on a podcast you love.
Rich Roll x Prof Scott Galloway - Healthy Masculinity
Prof. Scott Galloway is a little bit of a polarizing figure but this conversation on raising boys is a must-listen for anyone doing this. I took away a ton of value.
That’s it for today! Thanks again for reading.
Greg