Small choices, big impact.
How anything we do becomes everything we do
👋 Hello, Friends. I’m back with another Sunday edition of Intentional Wisdom. Three things I’ve got for you today…
The latest episode of the Intentional Wisdom podcast
A confession about something that happened this week
Some nutritious goodness for your content diet
Let’s go!
Ep.8 - Josh Bonhotal - The Future of Fitness Coaching
"A great coach can help transform you from where you are today, to where you want to go."
Josh Bonhotal has had a fascinating career path. He landed a dream job as Assistant Strength & Conditioning Coach for the Chicago Bulls right out of school. After a few years there, he was hired as the Director of Sports Performance for Purdue University’s men’s basketball program, where he spent 7 years and built a training regime for the team from scratch. Fast-forward to today and Josh is the VP of Performance at Future, a technology-enabled fitness company that is attacking the massive opportunity in 1 to 1 coaching.
I wanted to have Josh on the show to talk about coaching. It’s my sense that 1 to 1 coaching is about to explode as a market, particularly in the fitness world but also in others areas like careers and nutrition.
What’s changed? The proliferation of technologies like video conferencing and even texting can now enable mass market access to top-level coaches that were previously only available to professional athletes and billionaires.
In the conversation, Josh and I talk how he and the team at Future are building a business to tackle this opportunity and we ponder where the market might go next—including how the likes of Peloton, Whoop and others might play a role.
If you get a chance to check out the episode, I’d love to hear what you think.
What you do when no one’s watching
So I did something I wasn't proud of this past week. I yelled at a customer service representative.
I was frustrated. I had just paid nearly $7000 to have a water main replaced in my front yard—that's the underground pipe that carries water from the street to your house. I can think of many, many other ways I'd rather spend $7000. But sometimes that's what homeownership is about. Paying tons of money to fix things that don't really improve your life at all, but can make it much worse if you ignore them.
That was all well and good but the plumber who did the work made a mistake. When I turned on the sprinkler system in my front yard, a massive rush of water erupted from the ground and spewed into the street. No bueno. I called the plumber and found myself on the line with Maria, the woman responsible for scheduling their appointments. I explained to her that I had just spent nearly $7000 to have this work done and the result is a massive geyser in my front yard. Maria did not seem to share the same level of urgency that I did. She suggested that they might be able to get out to see me in the next 10 days or so. To say that response landed poorly with me would be the understatement of the century.
What I did next was disappointing. I raised my voice. I used expletives. And I completely talked over this woman in a way that, in retrospect, was rude and disrespectful. I strong-armed my way into getting the plumber back to my house much sooner and at no additional cost to me.
You could say that I actually accomplished what I needed to accomplish on that call. Yet, after I hung up, I did not feel good about it. I felt terrible. I was in full-on "fight or flight" mode and felt like I had probably just taken years off my own life with an interaction that would take me hours to calm down from. I wasn't sure if I'd made Maria cry or not, but at a minimum, I certainly ruined her day.
I tried to forget about it but it kept gnawing at me over the next couple of days. I was having a hard time letting it go. It was out of character. It was contrary to how I try to teach my kids to treat others. Or how I carry myself at work. I felt like I needed to do something about it.
So I called the plumber. I asked to speak with Maria. She got on the phone reluctantly. I explained to her who I was. She had not forgotten.
Then, I did what I needed to do. I apologized. I told her I was frustrated and agitated and probably overtired that day, but still, she did not deserve to be yelled at. And that I was truly sorry. She thanked me and said the follow-up call really meant a lot to her. She said it made her day. I felt like that was the least I could do.
I tell you that story not just for the sake of getting it off my chest or even to give myself a pat on the back. But rather to point out an idea that has become more clear to me as I've gotten older.
“How you do anything is how you do everything.”
I've heard this quote a hundred times before. It appears to be attributed originally to author Martha Beck.
Usually, I think of it not as an overarching life philosophy but more as a motivational mantra of sorts.
Like when I fire a Q-tip at the garbage pail in the bathroom but it lands behind the toilet and I think: "Oh well, I'm sure the cleaning lady will get that" before my conscience kicks in and I relent: "Ugh, fine... How I do anything is how I do everything. I'll pick it up."
Once you see it in one place in your life, you start to notice it everywhere. In your relationships. In your parenting. In your work. In your fitness.
It's actually incredible how many opportunities you have on a daily basis to cut corners. To not live up to your own expectations for yourself. Especially when no one notices what are often minor transgressions—except you that is.
It's that "except you" part that's the problem. Especially as you get older.
You realize—or at least I have realized—that it actually doesn't matter if anyone else sees me cut a corner or behave in a way that is inconsistent with who I say I am. It matters if I see it.
Author James Clear says that every action we take is a vote for or against the person we are trying to become.
You and I know, for the most part, who we are trying to be. In our careers, our relationships, our fitness... you name it. And we consciously decide every day with every micro action we take if we're going to live up to those identities or not.
Does that mean we’re never going to make a mistake? Never going to cut a corner? Or never going to do something we’re not completely proud of?
Of course not. I've left a lot of Q-tips on the floor. We can’t always be perfect. And some times, we just have to let some minor things slide to keep our sanity.
But when it comes to the big things—like how we treat other human beings—I think we need to be sticklers. That's why my interaction with Maria bothered me so much this past week. It was directly in conflict who I say I am — and who I'm trying to be.
I recognized that I couldn’t put myself out to the world as a trusted friend, a caring father and husband, a reliable executive AND someone who eviscerates customer service representatives. That’s a mismatch.
How I do anything is how I do everything. And that thing needed to be corrected. I hope it ended up being one vote cast in favor of the person I am trying to be.
That’s it for this week… but before you go. 👇
Content Diet
Toolkit for Sleep - Andrew Huberman
I’ve written before here that I’m a big fan of Huberman’s work. I appreciate his research and science-backed approach to health and wellness. This short article sums up his own best practices and recommendations for sleep. If you aspire to a better night’s sleep—and who doesn’t?—I’d recommend checking this one out. It’s pretty much the regimen I follow exactly.
Related:👇
How to write great headlines (NPR via @Amandanat) - Okay this one is kind of random but when I find myself saving things, I figure you might find value in them, too.
Twitter thread: Finally, for more on Josh Bonhotal, check out the thread below which tells his story and includes several clips from the show.
Thanks as always for reading. See you in two weeks!
Greg
I can most definitely relate. I had an incident where I raised my voice at a colleague recently when I was having a bad day. It kept niggling but I had a proper busy day so I carried on with work. Thankfully she asked for a word with me later and I immediately apologised. Felt much better after.