The Longevity Hack Hiding in Plain Sight
The power of social connection
👋Hello, my friend. Missed you last week as I was traveling — Connecticut and Block Island — but I’m back and I want to talk to you about something that may impact your health, well-being, and even longevity more than you expect.
Let’s do it!
A 50th Birthday Celebration, Golf & Good Times
Last weekend, I went to my brother’s 50th birthday party—a full weekend celebration with friends and family. And while there were lots of highlights, one thing really stood out to me: my brother has done an amazing job maintaining close friendships over the years.
There were friends there from all different parts of his life—golf buddies, high school friends, family friends… you name it. And one of the highlights of the weekend was a competitive golf scramble. One of his friends, as part of a fantasy football punishment, caddied the entire day in a full Masters-style uniform. It was hilarious—and also kind of perfect. These guys clearly had years of shared jokes, traditions, and stories. There was so much laughter, so much ease. And it got me thinking about something I’ve been circling around for a while now: the quiet power of long-term friendships.
Social Wealth = Real Wealth
I’ve written about different forms of wealth before—time, health, purpose. But recently, I read Sahil Bloom’s book The Five Types of Wealth, and one of the categories he focuses on is “social wealth.” That idea resonated. It’s not about how many people you know—it’s about having people who really know you, who you can lean on, and who can lean on you.
There’s even data to back this up. One of the longest-running studies out of Harvard found that the quality of our relationships at age 50 is the best predictor of our health at age 80. Better than cholesterol levels. Better than income. Relationships are that important.
Why Friendship Often Slips
Like a lot of people, I’ve sometimes let certain friendships drift a bit. It’s not that I’m out of touch with my high school friends—we’re on a group text that’s surprisingly active—but I haven’t seen many of them in person in 5 or even 10 years. Since moving to North Carolina 13 years ago, I’ve stayed connected but not in-person and there’s definitely something lost there.
Watching my brother surrounded by these long-time friends made me realize: I want more of that. And with my own 50th less than three years away, I’ve been thinking—what if I made it a personal challenge to reconnect more deeply? To not just keep the group text going, but to show up in person. To reinvest in those relationships in a more intentional way.
The Alcohol Shift
One thing that’s impacted my social rhythm in recent years has been my shfit away from alcohol. I gave up drinking for almost three years, and while I’ve recently reintroduced it on a limited basis, that long stretch without it changed how I socialized. I still went to events, still spent time with friends, but I was definitely less social overall if I’m honest.
And just to be clear—I still believe alcohol is a net negative overall for physcial health — check out my Whoop recovery scores from the past week. Can you tell I had alcohol for 4 consecutive nights?!?! No bueno.
But I’ve also written about how you don’t need alcohol to be the foundation of your social life. I’ve been in plenty of situations where others were drinking and I wasn’t, and it was totally fine. But I think one of the unintended consequences of giving it up was simply less social interaction.
That’s something I want to change, regardless of whether or not there’s a drink in my hand.
Action Over Conversation
One thing I’ve noticed about myself is that I really value doing things with friends. My wife is someone who thrives in deep, meaningful conversation with her friends, just hanging out and talking — not to stereotype, but I feel like women overall value this type of interaction. For me, it’s more about activity. I want to go play golf, or play pickleball, or go on some kind of adventure. It doesn’t have to be epic—it just has to have motion.
And I think there’s something to that. I’ve been reading a book by Hampton Sides about explorers trying to reach the North Pole. At one point, their ship gets trapped in ice and they’re stuck for an extremely long stretch. Morale plummets.
But when their ship finally goes down, and they are forced to move across the ice on foot — even in extremely dire circumstances with very low chances of survival— their spirits lift. They find themselves singing, laughing, joking, and generally feeling great. There is something about motion — about physically moving forward with other people.
Golf kind of simulates that, weirdly. You’re walking around outside, trying to solve a problem, ribbing each other, telling stories. It’s a shared effort with a common goal.
Lessons from My Dad
There’s a deeper layer to all of this for me, and it hits pretty close to home.
My dad struggled with depression for years, and eventually lost his life to suicide. He wasn’t someone who had a lot of close male friendships. His primary relationship was with my mom, and while that was strong, I wonder if cultivating more male friendships would have given him another avenue for connection.
That said, he did have a kind of community at the gym. Every morning, for years, he’d go see the same people. We used to tease him about it—joking that he exercised his “talking muscles” more than anything else. But looking back, I think that daily ritual was actually a lifeline. That was connection. That was support.
When my parents moved to South Carolina, that gym community disappeared overnight. And I don’t know if my dad fully realized what he was giving up. On some level, it was probably a major loss—one that may have had real consequences for his mental health.
Why We Stayed Put
A few years ago, my wife and I had conversations about moving—mostly tied to school options for our kids. We considered other neighborhoods, other towns. But ultimately, we decided to stay put.
And a big reason for that decision was community. We are lucky to have built a great group of friends in our current neighborhood. We know what we’d be giving up if we left. It’s not something you can recreate overnight, and we realized we weren’t willing to start over in that department.
Friendship Is Mutual
Something else I’ve learned—maybe a little late—is that friendship goes both ways. I’ve always leaned pretty hard on self-reliance. I don’t like asking for favors. I don’t like feeling like I’m imposing on people.
This past week, a friend of mine reached out to ask for a small favor. For me, it was a quick “of course”… didn’t have think about it. He’s a good friend. It’s an instant yes. Afterward, I thought: that actually felt good. It felt good to be useful. Even in just a small way. And it made me realize—I shouldn’t hesitate so much to ask when I need something. People want to help. And if you never give them the chance, you’re kind of robbing them of that experience.
Friendship isn’t just about being strong and dependable. It’s also about being real and vulnerable. Letting people in. Giving and receiving.
A Hidden Key to Health
So here’s where I’ve landed: if we’re serious about our health—mental, emotional, physical—then friendship can’t be an afterthought.
We focus on workouts and diet and sleep. We track steps and heart rates and macros. But some of the biggest gains might come from something simpler: a small favor, an unexpected call, a quick 9 holes of golf, or a shared laugh.
Looking Ahead
This isn’t just about the friends we’ve known since childhood. Those relationships are amazing, and we should protect them. But we can also form deep friendships in our 40s, 50s, and beyond. It just takes intention.
For me, the goal is to go deeper with the people already in my life. Reconnect with friends I haven’t seen in a while. Be open to forming new connections, too.
Because in the end, we’re not meant to do life alone.
Content Diet
Tim Ferriss x Dr. Keith Baar — Simple Exercises that can repairt tendons
If you suffer from golf or tennis elbow, have ever torn an ACL or … are just getting older, there are some gems in this conversation. The biggest takeaway is to heal by putting load on the injured area — in a considered, strategic way — and that the common convention of RICE (rest, ice, compression, elevation) may actually be making recovery times longer from the injuries mentioned above.
Final thought — Check out Block Island!
My friends have been raving about Block Island for years. My wife and I spent two nights there at the end of our trip, and we loved it. Stayed at the 1661 resort.. beautiful. Kind of feels like a smaller Nantucket or Martha’s Vineyard. I’d love to go back — next time, with friends!
New streak started…
Actually, one more thing. Started a new streak yesterday: No highly processed carbs for one month. Cookies, crackers, banana breads… all that stuff. I don’t *think* I eat that stuff much — but in reality, it creeps in. And I need a drop a couple of lbs before our next beach trip in August. So, 30 days… I’m cutting it out. We’ll see what happens.
Have a great week.
Greg